Overheard Quote

Did you feel the earthquake tonight… in my pants?

Larry King: Do you know how to reach a blogger?
Donald Trump: I have no idea. Everybody that works for me knows. Me? I have no interest.
Larry King: I have no idea how to reach a blogger. I’ve never sent an e-mail. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Is it even legal to ride a bicycle in the winter?

Toilet paper just isn’t my thing.

Woman: You speak French?
Man: No, not really, just a little from when I was a kid at school.
Woman: Good, I hate the French.
Man: Why is that?
Woman: I just don’t like them. And their country is being taken over by the Muslims.
Man: …
Woman: I’m a Republican in case you couldn’t tell!

Have you written the oral exam?

These people are so ugly, they make my eyes hurt.

I love sitting on a bench and just people-watching… because most people are so ugly.

It’s a sexual harassment Christmas!

A great thing about being a bike courier is that my muscles no longer respond to commands unrelated to bicycling. For instance, I just spilled a caesar salad all over my pants.